Conan: The Destroyer
Conan? Really? YES CONAN! And it’s the terrible sequel with Grace Jones and Bob from Batman! This really has no significance with Christmas so why put it on the list? Well for some reason here in Chicago, WGN would play this terrible movie every year, and it would somehow manage to always air on the night my dad and I would decorate the Christmas tree. As programming on the channel declined with the takeover of the WB and then the CW, airings of C.T.D became sparse and it has not aired in years. Thanks to DVD Conan has returned to Christmas.
One of the greatest Christmas movies ever
made is Gremlins. Father buys son something strange and fuzzy from a young Asian boy, and the gift multiplies and wreaks havoc on the town! I know it sounds like the perfect scenario for a Gary Glitter Biopic, but do you really need me to give you the down low on Gremlins? If you haven’t seen Gremlins than your parents were overprotective asses, or you grew up in Shanghai and weren’t interested in documentaries. GUUUUUUEY!….Magwai!
The Air has become crisp and the colorful leaves have begun to fall to the ground. The Gateway month of October signals the end of summer and the coming of the cold; and in the midst of this seasonal change we have Halloween. All Hallows Eve, Samhain or Halloween, whatever you choose to call it, is one of the more magical holidays left in our culture. Over commercialization has crept in turning a day of ghosts, goblins and the return of the dead to the earthly realm, into a candy fest celebrating cinematic homicide and pop culture.
In the information age we are educated and the more sane of us don’t believe in the supernatural. Halloween lets us remember a time when humans were scared of monsters, zombies and ghosts in the night, and not rapists, gang shootings, and murderers.
It’s a day when the veil between worlds is thin, and Goblins, gnomes and the dead return to make mischief and steal your body for their own so as to live again. But in reality I think it’s the one day a year that those who grew up so long ago can resurrect their childhood and be a kid again (if they’re not too “cool” to participate that is). There is little Wonder left in the world and as children become more and more informed at younger ages they become empty adults bored with existence. Halloween is the cure letting us all be kids again for just one night.
That being said, one tradition of the modern Halloween is watching scary movies, and unfortunately they have all become about slashers and multiple murderers. In the proper spirit of Halloween I put together a list of the best 8 movies to put you in the proper Halloween Mood THAT DONT involve having your throat ripped out with a fork. Ok well maybe one or two might have some throat ripping.