SkullBunnie

Riding out the Idiot Apocalypse!!!

10. Splice- A movie about genetic experimentation and DNA mingling resulting in a female Frankenstein; what could go wrong? How about everything! The first half of the movie is really good but then it falls into laughable mediocrity. A couple of hipster scientists treat their rapidly growing French model monster as their child, eventually are seduced by the creature where Adrian Brody has sex with it, and then it spontaneously grows a wang and rapes its “mom”. I stand by my point that this piece of crap should have been named Winged Fuck Monster and released directly to VHS where no one but trailer park deviants and the elderly could watch it.

9. Step Up 3D- America is raising an entire generation of fruits. Can we all agree that there have been enough dancing movies, and even Breakin 2: Electric boogaloo was in fact 1 too many? OH wait! It’s in 3D? Well then I guess I can sit and watch moronic teens settle scores with their dance battles for an hour and a half….HELL NO! I would like to mash up a remake of The Outsiders and Step Up/Stomp the Yard/ Save the last dance/you got served/The Way She Move.  Remember when gangs fought with chains and switchblades? Stay golden Pony Boy but first smash that pop-lockin douche in the face with a metal trash can lid! (more…)