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Archive for the ‘MOVIES’ Category

Time for the first annual SKULLIE awards folks!! This is an extremely nerdy undertaking and you will choose the winners. I tried to come up with a few more random categories than your average Awards nomination and not all of you will even know what to choose. If you have a suggestion that isn’t in the choices…I don’t care. If you feel you must make your unlisted choice known you can put it in the comments section….doesn’t mean I’ll listen.

Anyhow, Go Ahead and put in your two cents for who you’d like for Best FPS of 2010, Most Disapointing TV Series of 2010, Worst Comic Book Movie Decision of 2010 and more. Continue on to fill out your ballot!

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The long delayed Gears of War movie is still moving forward, in the wake of the best news yet; LEN WISEMEN (director of the shit hole Underworld series) has left the project. And that’s not all, he left because EPIC wouldn’t let him soften the movie to a PG-13, and include a love story!

Like Peter Jackson’s Halo movie (the one that never was), the Gears of War script Wiseman was using needed a budget of $100 million — and that’s just an estimate. According to Wiseman, the main problem with a GoW movie is the inevitable ‘R’ rating, which would make it less accessible to tweens than say, a PG-13 rating (tell that to the Expendables). On top of that, the Gears script lacked the obligatory awkward love story where the hard outer shell of our hero is melted by a shrew that would make most men run for the hills.

With the Departure of the dead weight,  Cliffy B notes they’re reworking the script to be “more like District 9″ rather than 2012 to fit budgetary restraints and stay true to the violence ridden war story that defines Gears of War. Despite delays, these changes actually sound positive and I personally couldn’t be happier. After seeing the aforementioned Expendables, and Rambo I can only hope that they might offer the Directing position to good old Sly Stallone who really knows how to direct violent battle….Just please don’t let him write the script. I still don’t know what the hell Mickey Rourke was talking about in that movie!!

The Fame grubbing train wrecks, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have been out of the public eye for far too long and it was only a matter of time before they too released a “Stolen” Sex Tape. Ordinarily this would be “who cares” information not worthy of reporting (Especially on this site) except that Spencer wasn’t Heidi’s partner in the tape….IT WAS PLABOY PLAYMATE KARISSA SHANNON!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!

Instantly this story went from about as interesting as belly button lint to probably the hottest thing ever.
Karissa Shannon has confirmed that she made a sex tape with Heidi Montag.
“There is a sex tape of me and Heidi,” she redundantly told Radaronline.com. “”It’s just me and Heidi, that’s it.” (poor spencer)

Karissa claims that Spencer does not own the tape because he stole her video camera when he came over to pick up some stuff from Heidi’s house in Malibu. (more…)

-Original Post on Feb 11th 2010-
Strangely enough my favorite actor from the 80′s is not  Willis, or Arnold, or Stallone, but is in fact Kurt Russell. As a kid I basked in movies like, Big trouble in Little China, The Thing, and Escape from New York, three movies which I feel never need be remade. The Thing prequel is set for filming this march but rumor has it that it is turning out to be more of a reboot than a prequel. If that wasn’t a big enough crime (simply put The Thing is a perfect movie) there have been rumors of an Escape from New York remake in the works.

Last year all plans for the Escape remake were shelved due to a massive outcry from fans of the original, but as of yesterday were reopened.

According to Studio Sources the reason for it getting put back into production was a script rewrite by Allen Loeb. “Loeb nailed the humor in Plissken without slipping into camp, and he changed Snake’s rescue-mission target from a president to a female senator, thereby upping the banter quotient.” (more…)

Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Hills Have Eyes, Scream series) brings audiences his latest suspense thriller with My Soul to Take. In the sleepy town of Riverton, legend tells of a serial killer who swore he would return to murder the seven children born the night he died. Now, 16 years later, people are disappearing again. Has the psychopath been reincarnated as one of the seven teens, or did he survive the night he was left for dead? Only one of the kids knows the answer.

Adam “Bug” Heller (Max Thieriot) was supposed to die on the bloody night his father went insane. Unaware of his dad’s terrifying crimes, he has been plagued by nightmares since he was a baby. But if Bug hopes to save his friends from the monster that’s returned, he must face an evil that won’t rest…until it finishes the job it began the day he was born.

So apparently the big news out of Hollywood today is that Angelina Jolie announced that she would not be portraying Marilyn Monroe in the forthcoming biopic (thank god) as she had been rumored to. In a related story a monsoon hit Pakistan due to the collective sighs of relief coming from anyone at all interested in seeing a decent Marilyn Monroe portrayal (which just proves there are a hell of a lot of hipster college students and homosexual men in this country).
Personally I don’t understand how Hollywood works, and it’s a mystery to me why Jolie was ever up for the part of Monroe in the first place. There are at least ten other actresses that could give life to the fallen starlet much more successfully. It seems that the name most mentioned to step in and fill Jolie’s frail shoes is Scarlet Johansson, who definitely looks the part but her acting skills and strangely guttural deep voice don’t seem up to the challenge.
My question is how have they not gone for the completely obvious choice of Christina Hendricks? Not only has she single handedly destroyed the public’s love affair with malnourished stick women, but she exudes the same sensuality that made Monroe an Icon. (more…)

Of all the writers on this site I would have expected Pauly to have picked this up as he is a prime candidate for Dudeism. That’s right folks, there is now a religion….well l maybe more of a life philosophy to abide the dude.

Die hard fans of The Cohen Brothers Masterpiece the Big Lebowski have adopted the Dude’s motto of “take it easy man”, and live their lives accordingly. Recently conventions of Dudists have been popping up around the country, the most prevalent of which takes place annually in Kentucky.  There really is nothing like relaxing at the Bowling Alley with a white russian, and contemplating rug choices. I just cant seem to do the philosophy justice so i might as well give it to you in their words.

Probably the earliest form of Dudeism was the original form of Chinese Taoism, before it went all weird with magic tricks and body fluids. The originator of Taoism, Lao Tzu, basically said “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em” and “mellow out, man” although he said this in ancient Chinese so something may have been lost in the translation. (more…)

With the 35th anniversary of A New Hope rapidly approaching, George Lucas officially announced that your eyeballs will be able to drink in all the beauty of the trilogy in glorious high definition. When? No idea. Price? Undisclosed.

The only tidbit of information I can relay is that tragically, Lucas has reported that only the special edition versions of the movies will be released on Blu Ray. The reason? George apparently told the New York Times that it would be too expensive to take the original prints and re-master them in Blu Ray.

A moment, while I get on my trusty soap box please. George Lucas, according to Forbes, is currently worth roughly $3.6 BILLION. I will not begrudge the man this empire, as he’s earned it, and in the process, given to nerddom one of our most treasured gifts and works of Sci-fi lore. I would beg of the man, however that this one time, could we not look past the business logistics of this process for sake of the fans? Bringing the originals into the world of Blu-Ray should instead be considered a labor of love; Lucas’ personal valentine to those of us that have supported his franchise since we left the womb.

But hey, maybe I’m in the wrong. Star Wars is Mr. Lucas’ creation. Perhaps the roof at Skywalker Ranch is leaking. Perhaps George can do what he wants and the fans should shut up and eat what they’re served. I however, would trade every added “unreleased lightsaber battle” in the world just to have the films I remember from my childhood delivered in a higher-quality format.

But that’s just me. Continue ahead to see a cut scene from Return of the Jedi, that shows Luke finishing production of his Green Lightsaber…..just disregard the hooting and hollering nerds.
Sources: 1 2
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WHO THE HELL KEEPS GIVING THESE ASSHOLES WORK? That’s right Friedberg and Seltzer (the Uwe Boll twins of spoof Comedy) are back with their newest crap fest, Vampires Suck. Every movie they release immediately becomes their worst movie, because each new effort is clearly worse than its predecessor.

Each “insert adjective here” MOVIE is another sign of the coming Idiot Apocalypse…even more so if it makes a profit. They are counting down until the end of American Intelligence and based on I.C.P’s joker card model I think we only have two more “blank” MOVIES to stop them before the end arrives. Here is the countdown thus far: (more…)

Finally the Horror remake I’ve actually been waiting for!!! Not to be confused with the kids show “Are you Afraid of the Dark”, DBAOTD is the Guillermo Del Toro helmed remake of a hard to find cult, made for TV horror flick, that scared the bejesus out of me as a small boy. Basically the plot follows a young girl who upon moving into a new house finds that the house is haunted by evil presences that live in the shadows. The name is deceiving because if you see this, you will most certainly be afraid of the dark, and from what I’ve heard Del Toro’s take on this film is Terrifying.