There are so many reasons that the world sees Americans as uneducated idiots ( People who believe their dog is their baby, those who insist sweat pants are an acceptable option of dress, Jerry Springer) but none drown our credibility as much as our inability to speak our own language. How is it that the majority of our citizens seems to have learned how to speak phonetically and can’t even pronounce words that they can plainly read? Here is a short list of words for YOU (maybe not, but be sure to correct those around you) to stop saying incorrectly.
AX/ASK- Ladies and gentlemen, the word is ASK. When you have a list of things to do is it a Tax List? Do you wear a Halloween MAX? NO! There is no reason whatsoever that anyone who can say Bask or Task or even Mask should be “Axing” you a question.
Xpresso/Espresso- There is no such thing as an Xpresso, if you plan to drink something akin to coffee in the morning to keep your self awake, order an ESSSSpresso! ……You wanna-be Hipster Moron!
Xpecially/Especially- Really? ……Really? Another issue with X! Why can’t Americans get past this SK issue? If I say my words with a lisp, essentially saying TH rather than SSSSS, it’s considered a speech impediment but when I say X in place of SK it’s accepted? What is the difference between a lisp and a…… (Well I guess there’s no name for it) we’ll call a ksisk. NOTHING!!! EXCEPT A POOR LISPING WEAKLING CAN BE FORCED INTO SPEECH THERAPY AND A KSISKER IS LET LOOSE UPON THE WORLD TO RAISE OTHER KSISKERS! AAAAHHHHH!
Suposably/Supposedly- Pronounced “sup-pose- ED-ly” not Sup-pose-ABLY, or Sup-pose-EVLY! This is a common occurrence, and you sound like a complete jackass when you say this word incorrectly. Be prepared to be passed up for promotion again and again, as your boss thinks you don’t have the verbal skills to communicate with the outside world. “SupposaBly the boss thinks Jason can handle the Stinson account better”
Granite/Granted – “Granite, we can have the designs but Tuesday but they wont be good.” Why would you preface your sentence with an igneous rock? Does logic no longer prevail in speech? You’re telling someone that you’re recognizing their contribution to the conversation or debate, HENCE “Granted”.
People who use this pronunciation of common words get the SkullBunnie Seal of Badness!
Ok I’ve left a few out Purposely to get you mooks to interact. Register and comment on other words that irritate the living crap out of you!
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Meh, I say fuck ‘em. The great thing about language is it lives and changes constantly. I like saying ain’t. I know I say Xpresso and it’s delicious. Hell, they were making fun of someone on Community last night because she pronounced bagel as “bag-el” instead of “bay-gel”. I know you all make fun of me when I call it that. But fuck it. As long as the meaning is understood, the language has succeeded.
NPR was talking about grammar rules and the pet peeves they create. The fact that makes simple rules so fun to pick on is that they are so esoteric. In fact, the “Elements of Style” writing guide is still used in schools, but is not followed anymore in day-to-day transactions. It’s because language, especially of the spoken variety, is meant to change and evolve. This means the pronounciations as well as meaning. This same behavior is happening around the world, as generations change and the language and pronunciations slightly alter as it happens. Any country that is judging us by this behavior is obviously turning a blind eye to their own language and countrymen.
Futurama had it right – eventually, the word will be “Axe” instead of “Ask”. And frankly, that’s just fine by me.
Paulie you’re far too passive, without order we have chaos and when chaos reigns civilization disappears. If we allow everyone to do everything they feel like doing “ala BE LIKE THE BOY” just because its easier, it would be a sad world indeed.
Be sure to warsh your clothes and drink your melk!!
Honestly, chaos is going to eventually happen and the USA experiment will have to change with it. Fighting against entropy is a futile effort. Pretending you have a hold on chaos simply because one small facet of society might be orderly is fooling yourself. It’s not so much being passive; it’s realizing that society will always change. I’d rather feel that the language I speak is partially a product of my own world – not something set in stone 300 years ago.